I will give you a direct answer: to be able to go to milongas you need basic social skills.
When you are invited to a party, a friendly social gathering, you present yourself with a pleasant attitude, clean, well dressed, and you balance your way of addressing other guests at the party, formally or informally, based on your relationship with each person.
If you’ve never been to a milonga before, I recommend procuring an invite from a regular attendee. This will be a bridge to help you integrate with the crowd of participants.
Often, you have opportunities to meet people in class who could serve as your link to milongas: other students that started before you and now go to milongas.
If you only take private lessons, your teacher is your connection to milongas. The main task of an Argentine Tango instructor is to prepare you to go to milongas.
You should not expect to dance at your first milongas. Try to set yourself at ease by removing any anxieties caused by feeling obligated to dance. Going to a milonga does not imply that you “ought” to dance. A milonga is a social gathering that has the main goal of facilitating the dance of Argentine Tango among its participants. Still, this is the end result of a self-calibrated socialization process. This process starts in your classes. You will do well at milongas if you have this in mind from the beginning of your learning path, in your class. We dance because we are free to dance. It is not possible to dance, for real, under the pressure of obligation. Therefore, it is also important to be considerate of others and not make anyone feel obligated to dance with you.
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